Have you ever been in a situation when you felt like your words weren’t being acknowledged? Do you believe that you’re fundamentally different, weird, or impossible to understand? What about the times when you keep on trying to explain yourself over and over again, yet being misunderstood? Are you terrified to share your opinion because you think that the other person won’t be able to understand it?
You might be thinking what’s all this fuss going on. Allow me to explain; these questions are something that have been there in my mind trying every now and then to cover all my brain, switching all the lights off and making it a dark and lonely place. However, every time I was able to push them aside and switch back the lights on but, thanks to this never-ending isolation period I have been facing them headlong, and it was me who lost in the combat.
For a fact I know that no life is perfect. Life is full of pain and failures but what I was not able to cope with, was the thought that I am not able to explain myself to others. The agony that I had in myself. It is very hard for me to explain my inner churnings. Like the fact that I have off days and on days. I have days when I have nothing to say and days when I want attention, days when I want to be left alone (actually just want somebody to hold me tighter than ever), days when I just want to sit with someone and the person would listen to me, tell me that everything will be fine and I am not alone in this. Instead I get comments like,”I am the one who has inflicted this misery upon myself, with in tempt to ruin my life”. I just don’t understand who will want a miserable life for themselves.
According to a Swedish proverb “ shared joy is a double joy, shared sorrow is half a sorrow”. This proverb explains about the benefits of interacting with others who understand our thoughts and feelings. But what should a person do when the people we call “mine” are indifferent to us. How will a person feel when they will get to know that the people whom they are staying with, from past 20-25 years don’t even know tiny details about them. What are the things they like? What are they afraid of? What is it that’s hurting them? And so on.
As a human being we tend to look for approvals. In order for us to feel comfortable within our own skin we need to know what’s happening in our minds, the thoughts and the feelings that we are discussing makes sense to others. Because that’s what it is all about. We want to be understood so that we can be fixed. For many years I have been looking for people who had answers for me, but as painful as it is, the realization that no human had all the answers, which will make me free from this pain.
After all that I have been through, it has been my experience that average people accept like-minded thinking and personality and do not go out of their way to understand differences of any kind. It’s all because human beings tend to be cautious and judgmental towards those of us who live, think, behave or express themselves just a little differently. Leaving us in this wretched feeling of loneliness and dismay. As a result, I became quiet, stuck with my own self trying to find a solution however
With the time off, I started feeling and sensing how much past pain and resentments I had stored inside my heart. It was like the quieter I got, the more I heard how much of what was inside me. I felt a huge void, as if I was a failure in more than one aspect of my life.
To explain in a better way, I phrased them in special words
There comes a time when one by one you start leaving all the thoughts and people behind, opening the door for your own voice, to come ahead, be the light and guide you in this hazy path of life.. She was going through one such phase of her life, where she was in utter need to believe someone and wanted a place to hide.. Although she knew it wasn’t easy to reach the inner side, because it’s not like hearing a waterfall, touching a stone, or witnessing a flower bloom in nature’s heart .. However this time she was adamant and hence locked herself from every man jack outside.. Finally sitting in a dark room she realized, silence has covered her in a way that she could hear her sound of suspire.. The darkness of the room lingered around her ear, whispering a jeremiad which reminded her of her withered and miserable life.. The only thing which she forgot was scruples can be both, revelatory of God o an utterance by the evil.. The lyrics of the requiem made her scream blue murder and she finally fell on the ground.. Tears came rolling down her cheek but she was in no position to alleviate all this grief.. Since she herself was the one who shut all the escaping doors. Hence there she was trapped, screaming, shouting, banging the doors but no one to hear or come to rescue.. However still there was a beacon of hope, but don’t know will the devil of her mind allow her to hear the other side…
However, the universe has a weird way of working things out in life; things appear or show up for a reason. What appeared for me was my own shattered self-waiting for no one else but me to come to the rescue. The realization that the best way to stop worrying about being misunderstood or not being understood is to accept it as a reality you cannot change. You need to realize that other people have a different perspective on what’s right or wrong, good or bad, interesting or boring. Unfortunately, as I say, a lot of people don’t even try to actually understand an alternative thought or opinion –- they are too self-absorbed and quick to judge because it’s much easier that way. Instead of connecting and opening your feelings in front of wrong people( people you have never met or the ones who do not mean a thing to you or you to them) try to find people who actually worry.
Find purpose in your life. When we have something in our life which we want to achieve our mind won’t waver off. Follow your passions, don’t let others opinion change you. I know it is difficult because as a human we have a need to feel like able and socially acceptable. The pressure of fitting in a place where we don’t belong, in the attempt we lose most of our light and energy and if the results are not as expected we tend to fall into a loop of turmoil. So, I would suggest it’s better to let things and people be just try not to focus on them and let yourself shine even in the darkest of times. Because when you will be there crying bitterly on the floors of your room, they won’t come to pick you up but you yourself.
Finally, I would conclude by saying it’s okay to feel alone and detached from the world and propel time to time. Individuals with a deep personality are often misunderstood or ignored however what we are supposed to do in such a situation is that get over it as quickly as possible so that we can get on with our jobs of realizing our uniqueness.
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