“Mohabbat bhi zindagi ki tarah hoti hai, har mod aasan nahi hota, har mod par khushi nahi milti…. Par jab hum zindagi ka saath nahi chodte to hum mohabbat ka saath kyon chhode.”
I know that I don’t have to tell you people about the person to whom this dialogue belongs, all thanks to our hopeless romantic hearts and our love for Bollywood romantic movies. Moreover, when we talk about romance and Bollywood together in one line, we can’t forget to mention him, the owner of the dialogue and my heart Shahrukh khan.
However, let me tell you neither is this blog about Shahrukh khan nor about love but is actually about me. About my journey from love to heartbreak and then moving on happily. The reason for me sharing this is because I know there are people out there who are still broken and are not ready to either come out of it or share it out loud. So, this is a shout-out to those that it’s okay to be broken because
“The spotless tiara looks beautiful, but the crown always has scars.”
We start life as a helpless infant. Totally dependent on our caregivers and we are hardwired to let go of their shortcomings for the sake of our survival even at the cost of our safety.
I have always been a die-hard romantic since childhood. Whether it would be shows, dramas, stories I always looked for the love genre. I would always enjoy watching the same journey of two people meeting each other, falling in love with each other, and overcoming obstacles to be together with each other. The stories would always end happily. Deep in my heart I knew that it was all just a hoax but would always lose in showing myself the reality and hence letting it be in the utopia built by them.
As a result, my heart had made an image of the “special one” with whom I could connect. Although in front of the whole world I portrayed myself as a strong girl but there was a part of me who wanted to be loved, cared for and protected.
During my high school days, I wasn’t the girl who would easily go and talk to guys openly. I used to remain silent, busy with myself, catering the needs of my needy self. This is the time of my life when this person entered my life and shook it to the ground. I passed a year just to build up the courage to talk to him. But when we started talking everything went so smoothly and for a moment of time life for me became happening. My morning would begin with a text or call and the day would end with a sweet goodnight. We would spend hours and hours talking and he knew even the minutest details about me.
However, I never realized how much I was getting myself attached to him, how much I changed myself just to appeal to his eye, I even moved the boundaries of my comfort zone so that he gets to maintain his. I never thought I would have to live a life without him. Take my advice no matter how madly you are in love with somebody don’t let them know your weak points, don’t let them know about you completely because that’s how easy it will get for them to hurt you and one day they will close the doors on your face saying that there is nothing new left between them.
I have seen people talking about love so highly. That love is the purest feeling. But don’t you think Love is like an escape for two people who don’t know how to be alone. People say that this is the purest unselfish thing in the world but if you give it a careful thought you will realise how selfish it is. Like all other people, for me it was hard to accept what just hit me. Questions like “what if I never love like this again?” Was I not worth it?” Am I unlovable?” Am I too much?” Keep on creeping into my mind and destroying the peace of my mind. People were telling me stories about their heartbreaks and how they made out of it and also asking me to do the same but nothing helped. The worst thing about being in a typical Indian family is that you can’t talk about your love life with your parents and hence that support was absent, and months passed but I remained in my own shady place agonizing over the fall of my utopia.
After months of gloomy despair, I realised that I have wasted so much of my valuable time. I could have done anything in that piece of time. I know getting out of a heartbreak isn’t an easy job but it’s not impossible. Trust me when I say this once you get out of it you will realise that it actually wasn’t worth your time and it’s like you have been set free after being in cages for long. I won’t say do it my way but would like to suggest some ways that helped me in winning this battle
The time when you realise that you don’t have to remain in this shady atmosphere created by someone else is the time when the recovery starts. You are better enough alone. You don’t need anybody to support you, to love you, to protect you. You are your own hero.
*Believe in yourself
Never change yourself according to others. Which reminds me of one of my favourite dialogue
“Koi pyaar kare toh tumse kare, tum jaise ho waise kare… Koi tumko badal ke pyaar kare, toh woh pyaar nahi, woh sauda kare… Aur saheba, pyaar mein sauda nahi hota. Right?”
You are beautiful and you don’t need anybody else to tell you this. Love yourself because that’s the only person who will come and wipe the tears off from your face.
*Don’t open up completely
As I mentioned above and would like to quote again “no matter how madly in love you are with the other person, don’t let him know about you completely ” because that’s what they can use to hurt you badly.
*Always put yourself first
The basic mistake that we all commit when we are blinded by love is that, instead of us we start prioritizing them. We even leave the last pizza slice for them but let me be straight nothing in life is permanent except you. So instead of putting someone else first you should put yourself first. Don’t put your major work aside only because they want somebody to talk to kill their time. Let things be and if they genuinely love you, they will understand.
*Don’t let go of your personal circle
The next major mistake that we commit, we tend to distance ourselves with our friends just to be with the person whom we think will remain forever. Friends are the major part of everybody’s life. It is believed that humans are social animals. They can’t live without friends or family but for that momentary happiness we are ready to destroy a relationship that not just nourishes us but also helps us in travelling this journey of life. Don’t ever stain your friendship just for the sake of love. I know love is difficult to be found but so are true friends.
*Don’t get too attached
Don’t build your whole life around a single person. Keep it in mind that nothing lasts forever. I won’t say that every man tends to leave but if we talk about life who know when it will flip. I don’t want this to happen with anybody of you but we know deep down in our hearts that there will be a time when you will be left alone. So, it’s necessary to have a life out of them. Don’t get too attached to anyone in your life.
*Learn to live alone
I know it isn’t easy to do such a thing but in today’s world where nothing comes with a forever guarantee how can we expect this feeling called love will. So, it’s better to accept this harsh reality that you need to learn to live alone, care for yourself, protect yourself. People will help you in travelling this journey of life but it’s you alone who will have to reach the end.
Concluding it, I would like to say
“A break up is like a broken mirror. It is better to leave it broken than hurt yourself trying to fix it.”
Life is way beautiful and is full of mysteries waiting for you to fathom. Don’t destroy your life just because you made some wrong choices. It’s okay to make mistakes but a wise man is the one who learns from them. Every relationship or bad experience is like a lesson which teaches you something. However, what it does not teach is “you should stop loving people or believing them.” Not every person out there is waiting to break your heart, some might even be waiting just for your one glance. Moreover, life is all about challenges some you win some you lose.
Winning is not necessary but the fact that you took part is what makes all the difference.
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