“Try to manage and control your anger since people can’t manage their stupidity”
What is Anger Management and control ?
Before starting with today’s topic I would like to describe what is anger management and control. The goal is not to never feel angry. The goal is to understand your anger and to choose healthy ways to respond to it. This is where the anger management and control comes into the picture. Anger Management is the process of learning and recognizing the signs that tells you are becoming angry and taking action to calm down and control to deal with the situation in a productive way. Anger is a normal emotion. But the way you need to express should be a healthy and appropriate. Anger Management and control tell you how to do this. As described by The Mayo Clinic.
My journey towards Anger management and control
We humans are a mixture of multiple emotions. Happiness, sadness, fear, joy, disgust, surprise, trust, anger and so on. It is said if you want to be a successful person you should be the one who is in charge of your emotions. They shouldn’t be the one controlling you. However, living in this world where dejection, stress, anxiety, failures are so common it’s very difficult to have a control on our emotions. Excess of everything is bad, even emotions. You might have read my earlier blogs where I have been trying to explain the harms of excess of every emotion. Similarly, today I’ll be talking about one such powerful emotion known as “Anger” which not only has the power to destroy everything around us but also us.
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce
So, I welcome you all to our Good Vibes Blog. Where we all are working to win your love and trust by tackling issues and making efforts to resolve them for you or at least make them bearable.
What is Anger?
Wrath, fury, rage whatever you like to call it. This is a powerful emotion and unfortunately, it’s often an unhelpful one.
I myself am a short-tempered person. It’s very easy for anyone to make me move from my happy state to a grumpy, agitated state. After having ruined many relationships because of this, I decided it was time to do something about it. But before that it was necessary to understand it.
“Anger, also known as wrath or rage, is an intense emotional state involving a strong uncomfortable and non-cooperative response to a perceived provocation, hurt or threat.”
Anger is a natural experience, an emotion that most of us experience often. We read about anger, we learn anger management tips, and we know that it is an emotion that can destroy. Yet when it comes to our lives, it is like all the studies dome, all the knowledge we have regarding it becomes useless.
‘for every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness. ‘
Reasons for Anger
The stress of world events, the economy, a pandemic, let alone what’s happening in our personal lives, can all contribute to the undercurrent of anger that seems to exist.
There will be times when things won’t go your way. There will be times when people won’t react in a way you want. Times when others will do certain things that go against your value and disappoint you. There will
be times when unexpected things will happen and results might not be in your side. There will be events which will have the power to trigger something deep inside you, leaving you frustrated, agitated. I can go on and on about the different reasons that can be responsible for your angry self.
At one point or another, we’ve all experienced some form of anger where we lose control of our emotions and end up saying and doing things regretfully. Anger is, therefore, a part of just about everyone’s life.
The Anger Ladder
Why should we control ?
Often do we people say that to us, some other person’s life is more important than ours. However, the reality is we love ourselves more than anything else. So, before beginning with the harms it will cause to others I’ll begin by telling you people the damage it can cause to you.
According to a study a person experiencing anger will often experience physical effects, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and increased levels of adrenaline and nor adrenaline. It can also destroy our peace of mind.
When I get angry, I lose control of all the sensibility and instead of thinking about the results and solutions, I react. There have been many relationships, many people whom I tried destroy because of this.
And as for others we can hurt them a lot with all our harsh words and the reaction which they might give can even damage our careers or our life.
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
How to do anger management yourself
Before suggesting the ways, I would like to share a story with you people that my father once narrated to me….
‘There was once a saint who wanted to drink beer. He asked his disciples to bring him one. The disciples were shocked but did what was asked. When they brought the bottle to the Saint he sat with folded hands and stared at it for long. Later after some time the Saint asked his disciples to take it away. It was then, when one of them asked “What was it that you did?” the saint told him something that we all need to understand. He said, “I cannot control the feelings, the emotions, or the temptations but I can definitely control my actions.”
And further said that as long as I keep my hands folded, I can resist myself from not catering my temptations no matter how strongly they attack me. He said if you can’t control your emotions, control your actions. ‘
I can write about a zillion ways with which you can control your anger. However, we all know that the actual way which might be helpful is hidden inside us. No matter how much we listen to lectures of different people, read different books, surf different sites. But those things don’t know us the way we know us. Hence it is we, ourselves who have to find a unique and effective solution to this.
For me I started ignoring certain situations. Whenever I felt angry, I used to distance myself from everyone. Sometimes it used to subside in a few hours but sometimes it took days to subside. The only thing that I learnt through all the alone time I had is that
“Not every situation deserves your reaction.”
I would love to hear your unique ways of managing anger. The comment section is open so go and let your heart out. It might help someone else in need….❤️